Monday, June 25, 2012

Anxieties over South Korea

On August 4th of 2012, I will make my first ever trip out of the country, which will also involve my first ever ride on an airplane. It will also include my first ever time living in another country, my first ever time being away from my family and boyfriend for 6 months and my first time teaching English as a foreign language. I'm ready to go, I think, but the anxiety is killing me. So much so, that I am having a really hard time focusing on other things right now, which is not a good thing at all.

So much is required to prepare for the trip. I got my passport for the first time and applied for my visa. I bought suitcases and my carry-on bag, and I have plastic boxes to fill with things I can't take with me for storage purposes. I've got a lot of things to go through...

My new jobs are helping to fund for my trip to Korea, which is a huge help. I just wish the jobs weren't so mentally and physically intensive; It makes it so much harder to do well for those jobs. I have bought my basic toiletries, and I have some clothes to take as well. I am just hoping it is all enough...

Mental preparation is going to be a lot harder to do though. I can't get over how much I am going to miss my boyfriend of 5 years. I trust him enough that I know we will make it through these 6 months, but I really don't know how I am going to handle being so far away from him for so long. We're currently spoiled: 3 minute drive away and very few things holding us from being able to see each other. Never went more than a week without seeing him. Just 2 days makes me terribly lonely... I'm not gonna lie, sometimes, I cry when I think about it. I'm a big baby, I know I am, so I'm afraid of what to expect. It's a rather large leap though. If I was moving within the country, that would be a lot easier to handle. But I am going to practically be on the other side of the planet. Pretty far :/

I worry about my family while I am away. I am sure they'll be fine, but I can't help but worry. It's only natural. I'll leave behind good friends, but all we live so far away already, it shouldn't be much different, right? Haha. I know I am going to miss my dog, Bongo. I really do love that dog, and he helps to bring up my mood when I am down like no human being can... so it's going to be really depressing not having him there. I have thought about taking him, but I know I can't. It's just a wish.

I am also worried about whether or not I am doing everything right. I just want the trip to go smoothly. I hope I don't lose nay luggage, get lost, miss a plane, or have trouble with communication. I hope people aren't rude or snooty and will understand my anxiety. I hope I don't screw up in a massive way.

On top of all that is my phobia of airplanes. I don't know how one can be phobic of riding airplanes having never been on one, but from what I hear, the experience of actually doing it is what helps to relive some of that stress. I've been watching videos of people riding airplanes and it does make me feel a little better seeing how smooth it really is. The thought of being trapped inside that tube for so many hours with the possibility of death always there certainly doesn't make me feel better though. Honestly, I can imagine myself getting queasy or fainting from nervousness (which I do).

When the day comes closer, I am sure my anxiety will increase for all the reasons above. Right now, I have about a month left. I wish I could spend it relaxing and not having to worry... but I can relax when I get there, right?



What's going on at the Museum of Science & Industry?

The next stop in my journey through teaching and education is MOSI, the Museum of Science & Industry! I currently work here as a "Technology Instructor" for the Museums Summer Science Camp. I recently finished my first week and I believe I should take some time to reflect on my experience there. There is just so much to say; It was quite possibly one of the most exhausting and hectic week of my life. Despite that, it has also been so incredibly satisfying. These kids are the bread and butter of why someone becomes a teacher.... So let's get started!

Curriculum and Lesson Planning:

This is probably the part of the week I found the most difficult. I had a curriculum firmly set in place, but after the first day, I realized the students needed more than what I had planned. First off, I taught something that was actually quite new to me: game design for kids. I created a curriculum for the week and was ready to go! I thought it was going to be wonderful, because the software I was using, Kodu, had so much hype built around it on the internet, especially by Microsoft, who developed the program. After the first day, the students got the program but were unable to move forward with it in the manner I hoped for. It was so educational, they got bored of it. Sad, huh? They were hoping for something for along the lines of Roblox or Minecraft (God, I hate those games). Kodu was supposed to teach programming and logic, something 8-9 year olds are not particularly interested unless they're kid geniuses. Because of this, I tossed out my curriculum and went back to the drawing board... every single night. Despite this, I was still able to find new programs for them to learn every single day as there are a plethora of game design programs for kids out there. They loved them for 2 hours or so, but after that, they went right back to whatever else they were interested in. Well, it was my first time teaching this subject but after this week, I think I feel a little better about teaching it again. Experience is everything when it comes to teaching.

Asperger's Syndrome

I've had special needs children in classes before at the Tampa Housing Authority, but they were never problems. They never made a fuss and they never acted out. In fact, despite their odd behavior, they were absolutely brilliant. I loved them! But this was my first time having a kid with aspergers in my class. I knew it existed, but I never knew what it was about. I have done some research, but despite that, I still don't completely understand it. I guess this is the problem with the fact that I didn't go to college for an education degree, so I wasn't forced to study this stuff in school. What I do know, is that is related to autism in some way and that the main problems people with this disorder have is their abnormal social behavior and communication. The main problems I had with this student was that he tended to have a mental break down every time something went even slightly wrong. For example, if the computer froze, he would bring is legs to his chest, pull his hair, and begin to cry and scream. He would then begin to whine about the situation and often repeat his words a few times before getting up to pace the room and find someones computer to steal. What I found incredibly interesting was how a few of the kids in the class would actually try to help calm him down and they were just.... wow. They would make eye contact with him and say things like "it's okay, you can have my computer". It was just amazing how empathetic 8-9 year olds can be! It showed that our human nature of love and care starts at an early age... despite this, there is also another side of human nature that begins at an early age: cruelty.

Bullying

I've dealt with bullying before, but never to this extant. It got to the point were it was starting to get completely absurd. I always thought bullies like this were only in movies, but this week taught me that those bullies are very real. The bully was a nice kid, he really was, but he seemed to pick out specific kids in the class and pick on them in one way or another, and usually this picking involved physical contact, which for some reason, he did not get the severity of. First, he drew on one kid with a pen after taking the pen away from him. Then, he pushed the kid with aspergers into a water bottle, causing the water to spill and the kid to break down crying. Then, he grabbed a plush toy that belonged to a little girl in the class and questioned her about it in a rather mean manner causing her to cry. Then, during a conversation with other boys about who is the toughest, he randomly picks the quiet kid and points out that he is the weakest, causing him to cry also. It doesn't end there! Then, while walking to lunch, he pushes the kid with aspergers against the wall because he was in his way. And finally, while taking the kids out to play, for some odd reason, he slaps another kid in the butt.

So much happened by this one bully in one week with so many different victims, that I am honestly perplexed as to the reason behind such behavior and he inability to stop, even for one day. I am still in the process of understanding and learning, so maybe one day I will get it. Of course, i always hear about how it is something going on at home, but I honestly don't care about what is going on at home. I don't think that is any excuse to let a bully be a bully. Yes, I did contact my camp directors about this, and I asked to have him removed from the class. They wanted me to give him a chance. Next time, I won't be giving chances. If a student won't behave, by Friday, they're out.


Parent Interaction


Something I am definitely not used to is parent interaction as a teacher. Before, I worked in communities and neighborhoods where most parents could not give a rats arse what activities their kids were doing outside the home, so you heard of the less and saw them never. At MOSI, that was the opposite. Well, I saw the parents at least twice a day for sign in and sign out, and so that increased the interaction ten fold. I gotta admit I was incredibly nervous communicating with them and talking to them. I mostly worried about whether they were judging me or not, whether they thought I was doing a good job or not, etc. Also, because of the bully, I had some parents come to me with concerns, and it was a surprise to me. I did not know the kid would tell their parents, but I guess I should have expected it. I had one parent tell me that she was not afraid to talk to the parent of the bully, and I had to reassure her that I would take care of it although it was my first time dealing with it. I also had one parent come to me with concerns that his son was playing  a video with blood and killing in it. I was so surprised that a parent actually cared about that! A good surprised of course. I was always under the impression that most parents these days don't care what horrible games their kids play. I was a little embarrassed too though. The game was NOT in my curriculum, but I let the kids play it during free time (the game was given to me by a co-worker). So I gotta watch out for that from now on.

Above are just a few of the points I wanted to cover about my one week experience at MOSI so far. I have 3 more weeks to go and I am excited to experience them. I just I didn't have the anxiety from having to travel to South Korea looming over me... it's making things so so much harder for me right now... I think I am going to have to blog about Korea too, just so I can get all this anxiety out of me right now :S